On the Subject of Cats
by Naria Lacour de Fanel
Summary: Ciel Phantomhive liked to describe himself as a creature of the canine persuasion. To Sebastian, Ciel was certainly more of the feline persuasion.


_Title:_ **On the Subject of Cats**

_Author:_ _Naria Lacour de Fanel_

_Pairing:_ Sebastian and Ciel

_Rating:_ **T** for naughty thoughts

_Disclaimer:_ I do not own nor ever claim to own these characters. They are the property of their mighty manga-ka Toboso Yana. I just make them snarky.

_Warnings:_ None. Not graphic, but there is a little insinuation.

_Spoilers:_ None.

A/N: This is retarded, but it came to me in a dream. No kidding. I was a sentient park bench and Sebastian was talking to me about how much he loves cats…Weird. It was probably induced in part by _Maiden of the Moon's_ _**"Spider Web"**_, a FABULOUS piece of work which I highly suggest you read! I do not like shouta at all, so Sebastian and young Ciel pairings are squicky to me. Older Ciel, however, is perfectly fine, though they are not my favorite pairing. X3 Grell and Undertaker forever! X3 Sometimes I wonder what the hell is wrong with my brain.

**On the Subject of Cats**

Ciel Phantomhive likes to describe himself as a creature of the canine persuasion. Sebastian is amused by this. To him, dogs are lesser creatures than even humans themselves (though still ranked above angels). They are obedient, ignorant, easily tamed and placated, uncouth, unrefined, loud, odious, and unquestionably stupid. This is just his opinion on mankind. Dogs fall into a lower ranking simply because humans have not yet begun eating their own feces on a regular basis. Ciel Phantomhive is none of these things. On the contrary, he is quite interesting in comparison and he has good hygiene. So to compare himself to such a base creature amuses the demon to no end.

To Sebastian, Ciel is certainly more of the feline persuasion.

Cats are the most noble of animals in the mortal realm. Sebastian cannot help but feel some respect to a household pet that had convinced an entire civilization to worship it as a god. They are soft, sweet, purring, lazy little creatures. They are lithe dancers and admittedly adorable while at play. They have fierce instincts that keep their wild behaviors alive and well.

They are born to live and thrive in darkness.

Cats are born to feast on flesh and flesh alone. Proud of their sharp teeth and slashing claws, they are born predators. They are made to prey on the weak, and feel not an ounce of regret.

Cats are haughty, distinguished, and so damnably tenacious. They are a valid threat. Hissing, spitting, yowling is all just a part of life. And while they are rough and tumble more often than not, they also have a more tender side. They have hearts of gold. Hearts of sacrifice, hearts of unrestrained, indefinable emotion. They are clever, manipulative, and cruel.

There really is no need for comparison. Ciel is certainly more of a cat.

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His hair is that of a kitten's. So soft and so lovely to touch. Sebastian finds guilty pleasure in combing his master's wispy charcoal grey hair. It is one of the few chores of the day he deliberately removes his gloves for. Ciel usually takes no notice as he reads through unending papers. From time to time he will also enjoy the feeling of those fingers running through his hair, soothing his tense scalp. The demon finds himself idly wishing the boy would purr...

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Sebastian is having curious thoughts. Thoughts no self respecting demon of his rank would ever have. Of course, said thoughts revolve around the young master. The flow of those ideas, whims, fancies, whatever you want to call them, grow stronger, and the gravity of their implications only grow heavier. Really, it was improper to have any thought beyond duty and/or how to achieve complete corruption towards a client. In human terms, it is akin to having affection for a cow one is fattening up for the slaughter. Humans are amusements and food for demonkind. It is not unheard of for a demon to take a human as a pet with no emotional commitment beyond that. The thing of it is he doesn't see the boy as a pet.

Sebastian is having extraordinary thoughts about an admittedly extraordinary human.

It is nothing perverse as one would expect from a creature of pure evil. No, Sebastian has no qualms about accepting lust or depravity. He embraces the desire to defile his young master in the same way the boy had been ravaged in the past. It is a tasty thought, his young master screaming in terror and disgust… He is a demon, he _likes_ wicked things, he enjoys _thinking_ wicked things. Darkness is his bread and butter, and his master is undoubtedly beautiful.

The true problem is Sebastian is beginning to see the beauty beneath the physical…and he is reluctantly beginning to admire it. As in: respect. Demons do _not_ respect humans! That's why they take advantage of their weak minds and eat their twisted souls!

He is beginning to have _feelings_ for his steak dinner.

It is quite troublesome.

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If Sebastian really tries, he can imagine Ciel as a feisty young kitten. When riled up, the boy is all spitfire and wrath anyway. All he needs is a downy fur coat and a puffed up tail.

Sinfully adorable.

Kittens surely deserve affection, and Sebastian can hardly resist any cat.

He adores their sleek fur, cute whiskers, sharp fangs, razor sharp claws, and their terribly soft and sweet paw pads…so plush and plump and exquisitely squeezable paw pads.

Coincidentally, the young master's cheeks are equally soft. He has yet to melt away that last bit of baby fat, and it will slightly diminish his boyish charm. Sebastian feels an uncharacteristic pang of disappointment at the thought of losing something so simplistically beautiful…from a completely aesthetic point of view, of course. Yet it is highly likely the boy will retain that kitten-like softness to his hair. It is a small consolation.

Unfortunately that leads to another slightly unwholesome train of thought.

If Ciel did retain that wonderfully soft hair through his transformation into an adult, then it would stand to reason that the majority of hair he would acquire due to hormonal circumstances might have that same softness. Even if it didn't…wouldn't it be lovely to pet?

A fine smattering on his chest leading to his belly, from there following a light trail to his-

Oh my.

And what choice pieces of flesh would have that same plush softness of a cat's paws? At least, when not aroused?

Wouldn't that be a fun avenue to explore?

Would the boy finally purr with all this petting?

And why is Sebastian thinking of purring and petting over thrashing and screaming?

Damn it!

He sighs in dismay.

That's it. He is doomed.

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It is meant to be sort of a joke, but his master's frown plainly tells the butler that he is not amused.

"I thought it might be appropriate to wear to the costume party, in custom with the Funtom logo," Sebastian smirks.

"I didn't design that logo, you did," Ciel scowls heavily, his expression defining his disgust. "And I refuse to wear something so...gaudy."

The item in question is a custom made headband commissioned by Sebastian himself. On the charcoal grey band is a tiny ornate crown, intricately duplicated to look just like the one that sits atop the cat's head in the Funtom logo. However, the headband also sports a pair of velvet cat ears made to match Ciel's hair color.

"And I especially refuse to wear the tail," the boy says with a finality that cannot be questioned.

Sebastian's lips twitch into a slight frown as he bows and takes the offending objects away, disappointed, but also relieved. The temptation might have been too strong…and he sadly does not want to cause undue harm unto his master.

Of course, he would hold on to them...just in case.

Ciel is still but a kitten, and he will soon grow into a handsome and lusty tom.

It is only a matter of time before the boy discovers his passions and Sebastian, to his own dismay, is only too willing to help.

-=End=-

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Yeah, that was strange, ne? I told you, it came to me in a dream and my creative juices went aflowin'. Sebastian is a deviant. A proud deviant, who is sadly "pussy whipped" in a very literal sense. *snicker*

If you couldn't tell, I am not a fan of dogs. I would never hurt or neglect one, but I am a cat person. In all honesty, dogs scare me, which is bad when you're training to be a vet tech. I work at an all kitty vet clinic, and have worked at cats only shelters for the past two years. Cats are my life! I sympathize with Sebastian on many levels, except for wanting to rape little boys…or anyone for that matter.

This purposely disjointed ficcy was meant to be a little funny and a little weird, I hope I accomplished both.


End file.
